A Liar's Paradox
by xXRottWeilerXx
Summary: He yearned for her all along, and he never noticed it. Not when they were all liars, and they knew it.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Well, looks like I just wrote another IchiHime fic that I was dying to write, but never had the courage to post it. Why? Because this story contains one-sided IchiRuki and I'm afraid Ichigo will be a little bit OOC. But don't expect this story to end up IchiRuki, because there's Renji to the rescue and he'll definitely end this story as IchiHime. Isn't he nice? ^-^**

**Warning: Will contain snippets of one-sided IchiRuki, a heartbroken Orihime and a guilty Renji. Oh, and ratings might change to M in future chapters.**

**Disclaimer: Bleach is not mine.**

**Summary:** Renji was torn between love and friendship. Rukia wished that she had never met him. Ichigo's lips spoke of her, but his heart yearned for someone else. And Orihime's mouth said she was okay, that she was fine, but her heart was hurting inside. They were all liars, and they knew it.

**A Liar's Paradox**

**Prologue**

He snapped his head to the woman descending the stairs, both of his hands busy wiping a wine glass. Satisfied that the glass was shining and pristine, he carefully laid the item into the cabinet behind the bar counter, joining the other wiped glasses before he picked up another identical glass. He nodded to the woman with the bright hair and grey eyes, and motioned towards one of his frequent customers and his long-time friend, drinking vodka straight out of the bottle by himself at one end of the bar. She smiled apologetically at him before handing him a couple of bills, which he declined, his face smiling. The woman frowned, and tried to pay the manager of the bar again.

"But Kojima-kun..."

Mizuiro's smile widened. He averted his gaze towards a group of women waving at him from one corner, gave a wink, and turned back to her.

"Ichigo's been there for a while... a little bit longer than he used to be."

Orihime turned towards the mentioned name, watching as the orange-haired man tilt his head backwards as he gulped from the bottle. His dark blue tie hung loosely from his neck, the top button of his shirt popped opened, and the sleeves were rolled up his arms. He propped up his chin with one hand, while the other was used to grip the glass bottle. He didn't seem to mind the probably burning sensation brought by gulping down a bottle of vodka as his eyes stared at nothing in particular.

"How long?"

Mizuiro paused from his task, and held up two fingers. "An hour longer than usual, he just started drinking like twenty minutes ago though so he doesn't seem to be drunk at all... well, maybe a little."

The sound of Ichigo's cell phone ringing caused him to momentarily let go of his vodka to fetch out the device. Orihime sighed as she watched him press a button –probably hanging up without even answering- and nearly dropped his phone when he tucked it back into his pocket.

"I think I should go to him, ne?"

Mizuiro nodded, and called out to Ichigo and told him that Orihime was there to pick him up. The man held up a hand, an indication that he had heard Mizuiro, and resumed drinking.

The sound of leather creaking as Orihime sat in one of the tall chairs next to him made him turn to her. She smiled at him, and a slow smile stretched the corners of his mouth.

"Hey, you're late"

He let go of the bottle, and stretched his arms before he tried to sit up straighter in his chair. He groaned as he felt the familiar buzz in his head. Massaging his temples, he motioned towards the half-empty bottle.

"Want some? I wanted to pay for that but Mizuiro didn't let me."

Orihime shook her head and motioned to her forehead. "Thanks, but I can't. I'm going to drive you home, Kurosaki-kun."

Ichigo gave a grunt, and reached for the vodka again. He took two big gulps, before he took out his cell phone and gave it to her. His fingers brushed hers as he did that, and Orihime took a deep breath to control the tingling travelling over her fingers, coursing through the veins in her wrist and down her spine. He rubbed his nose before he spoke up.

"Can ya call Yuzu for me? Tell 'er 'm not goin' home for dinner t'night. I don't give a shit about 'er hubby's birthday an'way."

Orihime widened her eyes as she heard him. "You haven't called her yet? It's nearly midnight, Kurosaki-kun!"

She watched Ichigo gave a snort, and frowned as she flipped open his phone to see eleven missed calls from his sister. Sighing, she scrolled the list of his contacts and dialled Yuzu's number. Ichigo continued to down the vodka as he waited Orihime to finish her conversation with Yuzu. When Yuzu finally hung up, she turned to Ichigo and placed the phone next to the hand holding the glass bottle.

"She's mad, Kurosaki-kun. You haven't answered her calls and now she's worried about you."

Ichigo gave a dry chuckle. "Yeah, I know. I just don't want her ta hear me like this, ya know. I'll sound pathetic."

He coughed a bit, and Orihime stood up to pat his back. He muttered a silent 'thanks' before he finished the vodka in one take. Settling back onto her seat, Orihime tilted her head to one side as she waited for him to speak up. She didn't have to wait long, when he traced invisible circles on the side of the empty bottle with his thumb, his chin still propped up on one hand and then he started to speak up.

"I know what everyone thinks of me when they see me like this... They probably just don't have the balls to tell me that I've wasted my life chasin' for somethin' I can never have... They wanna tell me that I've been a fuckin' moron to think that maybe Soul Society would let me have a relationship with one of 'em... They're all lookin' at me, as if they were tellin' me that 'I told ya so'... right?"

He turned to her, his scowl gone, the wall he built around him crumbling to pieces as he looked at her with such defeated eyes. The small smile on his lips made him seem vulnerable; it made her heart go out to him. She had to hold in the traitorous tears clawing her eyes as she witnessed him in such state. She looked away from his eyes as she saw the small smile growing a tiny bit before he continued.

"But you're not one of 'em, right? You're my friend, aren't you, Orihime?"

Orihime nodded, and she could feel her cheeks heating up as he let out a chuckle.

"Kurosaki-kun, you're not all of that. You're being too hard on yourself."

Ichigo tilted his head to the side as he watched her. "Maybe Ishida's right after all... that prick keep tellin' me that I've been using you to make me feel better with your words. But ya know what, Orihime?"

He waited for her to look at him before he continued. A forlorn look flashed in his eyes as he let his eyes drop to the brand label on the empty vodka bottle.

"Maybe this time... I've really fucked up. Fallin' for Rukia was one thing... chasin' after her was really stupid, wasn't it? It's not worth it, to wait for her all this time and suddenly to know that she's into someone else. Renji's sure one lucky punk."

Orihime shook her head, and she angrily wiped off a stubborn tear that had dared to roll down her cheek. She stood up from her seat and bunched one side of his sleeve.

"Kurosaki-kun, you can't say that! You can't control who you fall in love with, and it's just not _you_ to be like this. How can you just give up like this? This is not the man I've been friends with!"

By the time she finished her last statement, Ichigo had let the bottle to roll away from his loosened grip to one end of the counter. Warm tears rolled freely down Orihime's cheeks as she kept her hands clutching on his sleeve, ignoring the stares from other occupants sitting in the corners of Mizuiro's bar.

Ichigo turned to her, and his hands itched to wipe away the tears on her face as he watched her looking at him with stormy grey eyes. Instead, he let his lips curve up a bit.

"Then what _do _you want me to do? Renji's my buddy, and it's not like I hadn't gone to meet old man Yamamot yet. Even if that old man gives me permission to date Rukia, I can't just... ignore Renji. Out of all people, _you_ should know that I don't betray my friends, right?"

Orihime let go of his sleeve, and wiped her tears away with sleeves of her trench coat.

"I know that, Kurosaki-kun. But please... please don't torture yourself like this... I don't want you getting sick from drinking too much... can you promise that... for me?"

She saw the way his eyes soften, and she felt bad when he sighed in defeat. She knew that he had vowed to promise her anything, and that was the only way she could get him to slow down on his drinking and stop degrading himself.

"Fine." He silently answered her, and tried to stand up.

Orihime managed to prevent him from falling sideways as she took hold of his arm. He chuckled as she supported his weight by draping his arm over her shoulders. Carefully, she led him to ascend the stairs towards the exit, making sure his coat hung nicely on his shoulders. She managed to say her farewells to Mizuiro, whom answered with a friendly smile.

"Thanks, Orihime, but I can walk."

Orihime sighed as she heard him mumble to her. She knew Ichigo has a high tolerance towards alcohol, but he had overdone himself that night. She tightened her hold on him as he nearly fell sideways, and he had to blink a few times when she stopped to let him breathe in fresh air to clear out his head. He groaned, and cursed under his breath as the clear air of the night ran through his system.

"Damnit. Sorry, Orihime."

Orihime shook her head, and when she was sure he could stand upright, she let go of him for a while to fetch for his car keys in one of the pockets of his coat. The keys jingled as she excused herself to drive his car over to the sidewalk.

The snow under their boots crunched as she turned around to cross the road, heading towards the parking lot. Ichigo cleared his throat as he tightened the coat around him, his eyes watching her as she looked right and left many times before she confidently crossed the street. From where he stood, still hazed, he could see the small clouds produced as she breathed through the cold night and the way that the ends of her long bright hair bounced with each step. The end of the dark red scarf wrapping her neck fluttered teasingly against the small of her back, and he was reminded yet again that she was small.

She was small, yet she had come into the bar looking for him, and helped him to literally stumble out of the bar without falling face down. Guilt washed over him as he saw her disappear into the parking lot. He could've called Chad, or maybe Ishida (even if he hated to admit it), but it had always been Orihime whom he would call for. She was busy herself, being a science teacher at a high school and all, but she had always been there. He wasn't one to really stay long in bars, particularly because he was a physician himself and he knew the side effects of excessive booze, but he had been easily depressed as of lately.

He sighed as he leaned against a lamp post. Orihime was right; he was being too hard on himself. Besides, he knew that sooner or later, this would happen. He had been in denial for so long, he had tried to escape his fate of falling for someone like Rukia, a shinigami, a woman whom was far out of his reach... but in the end, he failed. It wasn't that he hadn't known, about the unspoken rule that humans should only fall for humans and the same applied to shinigami as well. But he had failed that rule. He scowled when he thought of those who had been advising him to forget about Rukia. They were right, of course, but he just couldn't help himself. He had feelings too, and he had thought that Rukia felt the same so he had never told her how much he felt for her. When he heard Orihime talking about Renji courting Rukia, he was hurt. Very much so, that he sometimes wished that he had never met Renji before. But then he would squelch the idea just as quickly as it came, even hating himself for having such a thought in the first place.

So he had taken it like a man. He supported them, even when he was deeply hurting inside. And the only person who understood him was Orihime.

The sound of a car honking woke him up from his deep thoughts, and his eyes found her in the driver's seat, struggling to open the passenger's door for him. He couldn't help the small smile when he opened the door himself and plopped into the seat and let her in charge of his car.

"Sorry, I couldn't reach the door."

Ichigo let his back rest into the leather seat, and lazily, he rolled his head to look at her. He let out a chuckle as he saw the way her face looked as she focused on driving. Her eyes widened as she nearly bumped into the butt of a car.

"That's not funny, Kurosaki-kun." She finally said, despite the laughter in her voice.

She started to get the hang of it as they entered the highway leading to the apartment complex they were both living at. She glanced at Ichigo, and blushed as she noticed him looking at her.

"W-What is it, Kurosaki-kun?"

Ichigo shook his head, and turned his head towards the window.

"You still call me that, huh. I've really wanted to hear you call me Ichigo sometimes."

The blush on Orihime's cheeks deepened, and she thanked the dimmed interior of the car as it helped to conceal her face from him.

"We-Well, um... because I like the sound of it... you know? Like how Ishida-kun and Sado-kun sounds... Kurosaki-kun sounds the best to me!"

She could hear him chuckle, and she opted not to look at him again. Hearing no reply from Ichigo, Orihime tried to give another reason.

"I mean, um... it's just that I promised to Tatsuki-chan."

He turned his face to her, a brow raised. "Tatsuki?"

"Mhm. She made me promise not to call other men by their names, except for my husband... and I just got used to calling you Kurosaki-kun."

He didn't reply, and they spent the rest of the time in silence. Orihime carefully parked his car in the reserved box, and as she turned off the engine, Ichigo decided to speak up.

"Did you start calling your ex by his name after you married too?"

Orihime turned to him, and she could make out the shape of his face within the dimmed lights in the parking lot. Even thought she was sure he couldn't see the way her eyes turned glassy, she decided to look away from him.

"Yes, I did. Um, why are you asking me this, Kurosaki-kun? You're... very weird today. Are you really fine?"

He didn't answer her, and instead he unbuckled his seatbelt, and carefully stepped out of his car. He braced a hand against the door frame as he stood up, preventing himself from tripping on his own feet.

"I'm... fine... I guess..."

Orihime gave him a sceptical look, before she also stepped out of his car and helped him close the door. After she made sure his car was locked, she walked behind Ichigo, ever mindful not to let him stumble suddenly. They had made it to the elevator easily, and as they waited for the elevator to stop on floor seven, neither of them muttered a word.

After a few minutes, the doors opened up to the seventh floor, and due to dizziness, Ichigo had to be accompanied by Orihime towards his apartment. He mumbled to her the combination of his door, and they clumsily stumbled into his unit once the door unlocked. Once Ichigo kicked off his shoes, he prevented Orihime from following him into his apartment. He held her shoulders, and was oblivious as her cheeks warmed up at his gentle hold on her.

"I'm... okay, Orihime. You can leave me here, I've troubled you enough."

She looked at him, worry filling her eyes. Ichigo gave her a lopsided grin, and rested a hand playfully on top of her head, slightly ruffling her smooth locks.

"I'm really okay now, Orihime. Thanks."

Orihime smiled back at him, fully convinced and nodded. "Good night then, Kurosaki-kun."

When he didn't immediately pull away from her, Orihime blinked up at him. He was studying her, as if figuring out something in his mind. The careless and lazy grin he gave her was replaced with something more different. The curve of his lips faltered a bit, and Orihime knew at that instant, he was not the strong Ichigo Kurosaki everyone knew; but he was just a man. A heartbroken man.

"Why hadn't it been you?"

"Kurosaki-kun.."

The hand that was on top of her head moved downwards to cup her pink cheek, and he used his thumb to brush gently against her cheekbone.

"Why hadn't I fallen for you instead?"

Her cheeks warmed another notch when he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. When he spoke up, she had barely heard him.

"I'm sorry."

Orihime swallowed the lump in her throat, and as she forced her lips to curve upwards, she reminded herself that Ichigo was drunk. He was drunk and he didn't know what he was saying.

Even if it felt like he was confessing to her, it just wasn't him talking.

It was all the alcohol talking, and with that in mind, she pulled back.

As soon as he opened his eyes, she beamed a smile at him. Even though her insides hurt, very much so, she smiled at him. She tiptoed and pecked him on the cheek.

It was just a platonic gesture, she reminded herself as she stepped back from him and said a cheery good night at him.

He replied with a lift of one corner of his mouth, before she spun around and headed to her unit, situated five doors away from his.

* * *

><p>AN: Well, I hope you liked this. :D I was a bit worried if this chapter was too sad, and I know most of you are quite confused. 'What? Hime's married? She has an ex? What happened to her ex husband?' Oh, and maybe the most popular question: 'who was her husband?'

I'm afraid I can't answer those now, because the subsequent chapters will answer them, little by little. Can't help it, that's just how I write my stories. Oh, and another thing; what genre should I put this in? Drama? Hurt/comfort? Or maybe friendship and romance? Help me here please!


	2. Ch1: You Make Us Look Like Lovers

**A/N: **Dang it! This wasn't supposed to happen! I wanted to update another story but this came out instead. Well, hope you guys like this.

* * *

><p><strong>A Liar's Paradox<strong>

**Chapter 1: You Make Us Look like Lovers**

If there was anything impossible that she wanted most in the world, it would be for her to turn back time. There were a lot of impossible things that she wanted to do; she wanted to evolve into a Humanoid that can breathe fire which can move as fast as 350 miles per hour, she wanted to eat every one of the donuts in her favourite donut joint in one sitting, she wanted to be able to pluck a star to be given to Tatsuki for the Karate girl's birthday, she even wanted to live five lifetimes... and she would still fall in love for the same guy.

It was _that_ strong, her love for him.

And because of that love for him, she was content to just be with him, to sit next to him, to be near him, to feel his presence, because even though others see her as an airhead, she was actually a very realistic person. She was content, because she knew he would never notice her. So she had been very happy when he started to treat her as a close friend, like how he was close to Chad and close to Ishida. She had been so happy that she decided to keep her true feelings hidden, for the sake of keeping that trust he had in her. Tatsuki had called her a fool for that logic, but she didn't care. She liked it the way things were then.

Except for Tatsuki, she had thought no one else noticed. But she was wrong. Chad, despite being quiet, was actually a good observer. He had been the first to know her feelings, but Ishida had been the first person to point it out to her. Rangiku knew about it the first time she saw the way Orihime talked to Ichigo. Toushirou was the next one to know, courtesy of having Rangiku Matsumoto as his Vice-Captain, and along those times, what she didn't know was that Urahara and Yoruichi had noticed, even Jinta noticed before Ururu did. If she even knew that Renji and Rukia noticed her feelings for the orange-haired-punk-with-the-good-grades, she would probably be too embarrassed to face them as they were around Ichigo the most.

Rangiku had told her to tell Ichigo as soon as possible, Tatsuki even surprised her by suggesting scandalous moves, but she had refused. Because Orihime is Orihime. She wanted her friendship with Ichigo to last a very long time, so she kept her words hidden.

She thought her resolve was solid enough. That one solid resolve of not wanting to let Ichigo know about her true feelings. But she had made a mistake. She had accidentally let it out.

She hadn't meant to let it out.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Summer at Karakura High<strong>_

She had been looking for Chad to ask the gentle giant about helping her transfer some boxes from the Art's Club's former operation room to a new place, when she felt Ichigo's reiatsu trailing a flight of steps leading to the door of the rooftop. She felt something off with the Shinigami's reiatsu, as if he was in turmoil, and that prompted her to trail after his reiatsu instead.

He was leaning against the fence, his face turned up towards the sky. He lowered his face and she tried to keep her heart from beating too fast when his brown orbs met her greyish ones. He tried to lift one corner of his mouth as he saw her, and at that instant, she felt it again. She could feel he was troubled and he was unsure of something.

"Hey, Inoue."

She blinked a few times, before finally laughing self-consciously as a hand was brought up to rub the back of her head.

"Oh, hey Kurosaki-kun! I'm sorry, I just felt your reiatsu and I decided to drop by..."

Ichigo tilted his head to one side, looking as if he was pulled away from a strange dream back into reality. After a short while, Orihime decided to try and strike a conversation. The boxes could wait, she was sure Chad was not even around the school anymore since it was already about half an hour after school. Besides, if Ichigo was troubled by something, she could at least hear him out. Plopping next to her friend, she lifted her face to mimic what Ichigo had been doing.

"Actually, when I felt your reiatsu, I sensed something off with it."

Ichigo looked up to see a duck-shaped cloud floating by, and he sighed. "I just hope Ishida didn't notice it during class."

Orihime shook her head, and her eyes followed a cloud resembling an aeroplane. "Maybe he didn't, because I just noticed it a few minutes ago, when I was looking for Sado-kun."

Ichigo chuckled softly, and scratched the back of his head. "Damn, it's _that_ serious, huh... Well, can't say I'm not glad that no one noticed it."

Orihime turned to him, eyebrows arching. "Hm? What do you mean, Kurosaki-kun?"

Shaking his head, he pinched the bridge of his nose. He chuckled for a while before he turned his face to her.

"Actually, I just got here a few minutes ago. And I was thinking about some stuff... Well, it's pretty big. I just... realized something I guess... but I can't be too sure about how I feel right now."

Orihime frowned, tilting her head to one side as she observed his fidgety actions. She could spot the uncharacteristic faint pink staining the apples of his cheek. _'Is he... blushing?'_

"What is it that you feel?"

Ichigo looked at her uncertainly, and she smiled. "Well... I don't know, I think because you're a girl, maybe you know about these things more than I do."

Seeing Orihime nodding enthusiastically, he cleared his throat before he started.

"Lately I've been... feeling weird stuff."

"Weird stuff?"

"Yeah, I think..." at this, he turned to stare at the concrete floor of the rooftop, and after he swallowed, ears painted red, he turned back to her and looked straight into her eyes.

"I think I like Rukia."

At that moment, Orihime felt utterly speechless. It took her five seconds for everything to begin to sink into her head. Five seconds for her heart to suck in as much as pain as it could, before it released all the pain as it beat rapidly against her ribcage. Five seconds for her tear glands to stop working, and when those five seconds were over, they began to function, misting her line of view.

Anyone who had been there would notice her eyes turning glassy, even as she turned her face away to stare at the sky to hide the disappointment showing in her grey orbs. She hugged her knees closer to her chest, her knuckles turning white as she balled her hands into tight fists, as if doing that would stop the twisting ache in her chest. She tried to smile. And when she turned to him, she failed. Her mouth was stubborn. The corners only lifted into a small smile.

"Why are you saying that, Kurosaki-kun? Ah, wait a minute, is that you Kon-kun? Because only Kon-kun likes Kuchiki-san that much, right?"

For a split second, Ichigo broke into a short-lived laughter. He shook his head, and sighed as he let his head loll backwards.

"It's really me, Inoue. Geez. It's true ya know... I think I like her... a lot. I don't know how to describe this but... lately I feel strange around her. I mean... I haven't seen her for a while, ever since I came from Soul Society to bring Ginjo's body here. And when she came here yesterday I... I felt so happy. I think about her too much lately, about those times when she used to live with me and my family. Even when she's not staying at my house anymore, I can't help but to feel too used to have her eating dinner with us. Having her around makes me feel so... important...She knows me better than anyone else, and it makes me feel... special, I guess... Damn, this is so hard. I'm being a mess."

Orihime swallowed a lump, and she began to speak up again, as if his confession didn't mean a thing to her.

"Kurosaki-kun, I think you don't just like her. It's love. You're in love with her. You know, to feel very special around her, the need to have her around you, next to you... It's obvious, isn't it Kurosaki-kun? You love her. It's normal to be a mess when you love someone... if you're so organized even when you fall in love is just... boring, right? So it's okay, to be a mess once in a while."

Brown eyes blinked at her before he spoke up. "You seem to know a lot about these things, huh?"

She nodded, her forced smile widening, her contained tears trying to claw the back or her eyes, just wanting to go out.

"O-Of course I do, because I feel those things too..."

The moment she said that, she regretted it. She didn't mean to, it just came out of nowhere. She looked away as he stared unblinkingly at her.

"Seriously? You like somebody too? Wait, of course you do, to be able to know how I feel... well who is it?"

She shook her head, trying to evade that question. "It's embarrassing, I can't tell you that kind of thing! Really, Kurosaki-kun, that's a secret..."

Ichigo frowned. "Hey, that's not fair. I told you about Rukia so now you should tell me about whoever this guy is..." He stopped, and then suddenly his lips turned up into a smirk.

"Hey, is it Ishida?"

Orihime laughed, and shook her head. "No, it's not-"

His smirk turned wider. "I see, It's Chad, isn't it?"

She flailed her arms, denying everything as her cheeks started to redden. "Kuro-"

"No, I got it. It's Renji!"

This time she laughed self-consciously again. "He's not-"

Frowning again, Ichigo tilted his head to the side as he came up with his last resort. "Don't tell me, Keigo-" He tried to stop the grimace on his face, and he blinked when he heard Orihime saying something.

"Hm? What's it?"

Her cheeks were pink, and she wasn't even looking at him anymore when she spoke up. "Please, Kurosaki-kun... I don't..." She swallowed as she held back the tears.

Ishida? Chad? Renji? Keigo?

She knew he was dense when it came to obvious things, but she never knew he was just that... that dense.

He really hadn't noticed her as more than a friend after all. Hearing him guessing names made her realize that he never looked at her as a woman. He had never seen her as a potential companion. There had never been any romance after all.

Ichigo started panicking as she looked as if she would cry. "H-Hey, I'm sorry, okay... I just wanted to know..."

Orihime shook her head, and finally she looked up into his eyes. For a moment, something clicked in his head, but before he could guess what it had been, she voiced out a name.

"Kurosaki-kun..."

He leaned closer towards her, straining to hear her barely audible voice. "What is it?"

"It's you, Kurosaki-kun."

"What-"

"That person is you, Kurosaki-kun."

He swallowed, uncertainty settling deep in the pit of his stomach as he stayed on his spot. He searched her eyes as she looked back at him.

"I know how you feel... it's because I like you. I _love _you."

* * *

><p>"Hina-chi! Me too! Me too! Spin me too!"<p>

"Ack, lemme go, you snot-head!"

"But I wanna spin too!"

"I'm not- Hey, stop climbing on me! Sensei! Inoue-sensei!"

"Heave-ho! Yay!"

"Oi, get off me, you little girl. Ah, what'cha doin' to my bag! Hey you lil- Sensei! The brats are running away with my schoolbag!"

Seeing no response from his teacher, Hinata Arisawa bellowed out his teacher's name.

"INOUE-SENSEI!"

A head wearing a straw hat turned slightly towards the fourteen- year old boy, enough to see the boy being glomped by a five-year old girl and two other boys dangling on both his arms. It took her a while before she realized the sticky situation her student was being in, and a smile broke out on her face. Her attention, which was previously focused onto the rabbit blinking back at her, was averted to the youngest Arisawa.

The sleeves of his white summer uniform were folded to reveal his shoulders, and a particular small scar on his elbow caught her eye before the smile on her face widened, sensing the uncomfortable situation that her student had gotten himself into. She tipped the brim of her straw hat and opened her mouth to say something when an old woman whom was previously watering the potted plants threw her glove at the whining young man. It hit the back of his head and miraculously bounced back into the elder's hand before she snapped at the boy.

"Shut it, young man! You were the one who offered to help, _snot-head_."

The boy grumbled 'old hag' under his breath before Orihime's laughter filled the backyard garden. When two pairs of eyes turned to her, she covered her mouth with a loosely-gloved hand.

"You're very popular with the kids, Hinata-kun."

The boy scowled, a scowl so much like Tatsuki's as he grumbled something inaudible, while he was trying to pry the kindergarten kids off him.

He was trying to pluck the little girl off his shoulders, when he spoke up, voice irritated at having his teacher call him so familiarly with the presence of other people.

"Stop calling me familiarly, sensei. It's not that I'm _that _close to you."

One of the boys who were previously dangling from one of Hinata's arm ran to Orihime and hugged her midsection as she stood up. She ruffled the boy's hair before she gave him a rabbit that she picked up for him to play with.

"Why can't I call you that? We do know each other for a long time. Ne, Nanako?"

The old woman nodded as she struggled on a stubborn weed in one of the pots. Hinata's scowl got even deeper when the girl refused to let go of his spiky black hair.

"_You _knew me for a long time, but I've never really known you. You're aneki's friend, not mine."

Orihime pouted. "How mean, have you forgotten? I always played with you when you were this small," she drew a small circle with the tip of her finger and continued. "I even helped change your diapers when Tatsuki-chan and your mummy-"

The little girl on Hinata's shoulders giggled, and the boy sputtered as red colored his face when Nanako's cackle filled the backyard.

"Sh-shut it!"

"Aww... Hina-chi wore diapers!"

He started to put serious effort in plucking the child off his shoulders and at the same time to prevent the little kids who had heard on his conversation with his weird teacher from running to the front yard and start telling embarrassing stories about him in diapers.

"Sh-Shut up, brat! Really, sensei, why did you even bring me here anyways! You should've just done this volunteer work yourself next time! Hey, you there! Stop talking about me!"

Nanako's cackle became louder, mingling with Orihime's carefree laughter.

"Orihime-san!" Hinata hissed menacingly as Orihime started to pat his head.

If anything, her smile widened. "That's more like it. I really like it when you call me that."

The boy stopped grumbling, and instead blinked dumbly at his teacher before his face started burning up like a tomato. He looked away, letting Orihime freely pat his head as if he was still the little boy whom used to play base-soccer with her all those years. He could never be mad at Orihime. She was like the sister he never had, and looking at her being so happy kind of made him happy too, in a sense.

"Che, you're too happy for your own good-"

"Ah! Hime-sensei! Ichi-kun is here!"

Nanako stopped laughing at once as the children were happily cheering. She tilted her head to get a better view of the man whom the children were eagerly surrounding and happily chatting with.

"Orihime-chan, Hinata, looks like The Doctor's here."

Both names turned their heads to watch as Ichigo knelt down to ruffle his niece's head. The three-year old smiled a toothy grin before she hugged him. Another identical-looking boy came and latched onto his arm.

Hinata's scowl returned.

"Che, how come they like him more? _I _had to put up with the bullying just now. Ungrateful brats."

Orihime turned to him, a knowing smile on her lips. "Hm? Hinata-kun's jealous?"

The boy was about to rebut when a voice interrupted them both. "Who's jealous?"

Hinata rested his hands on his hips, a vein twitching on his forehead. Ichigo raised a brow as the boy said nothing and turned around to pick up his bag that was left abandoned on the grass.

"I'm goin' home! Bye, sensei."

He disappeared just like that, and Orihime blinked. She turned to an equally puzzled Ichigo and scratched the back of her head.

"I guess he's jealous of you."

The children who had been swarming him were busy playing with the stethoscope Ichigo previously had with him, and Orihime laughed when she spotted one of them pretending to be Ichigo.

"Me? What for?"

His niece was still latching onto his leg when she looked up to him. "Hina-chan's very funny, but you're funnier!"

Ichigo raised his brows at Orihime. "Seriously?"

When she nodded, Ichigo shrugged. "I don't think so. Anyway, go and fetch your brother, Nami. I'll be waiting here. Don't forget to say thank you to your sensei, okay."

The girl nodded and skipped happily to find her twin brother. Orihime adjusted the hat on her head when the wind blew past them before she smiled up at Ichigo.

"You're early today, Kurosaki-kun."

Ichigo showed her his pager. "Got released early. It was something about me covering up Ishida's shift when he went on his honeymoon two months ago."

The wind blew again, harder this time and the straw hat on Orihime's head fell in front of her eyes. The corner of his mouth lifted a bit as he helped to adjust the hat onto her head properly, not noticing the slight blush on Orihime's cheeks as she laughed self-consciously.

"Th-Thank you, Kurosaki-kun."

"You should tie it, like this."

Nanako covered her mouth with a gloved hand, trying to hold in her squeal as Orihime's cheeks started to burn when Ichigo tied the ribbon onto a knot under her chin. He gave a satisfied smirk when Orihime thanked him again.

"It looks like you were called here again, Orihime."

Said name held her cheeks in her hands to hide the blush as she tried to act unaffected by his kindness.

"Rabbits! The teacher asked me to tell the children about rabbits!"

She took off her gloves, and turned around to pick up a white rabbit.

"Rabbits?"

Orihime nodded enthusiastically. "I told them about a rabbit's favourite food, what it does with its ears, and why white ones have red eyes. I even told them about Chappy!"

Ichigo couldn't help smiling back, even if just a little. "You seem happy, to be doing extra work. You still have your job at Mabashi High, right?"

Nodding, Orihime watched as the rabbit leaped off her hands and started to chase a black rabbit. A boy waved at her before he was taken away by his mother, and she waved back. She spotted Nami and her twin brother running towards them, and she nearly stumbled backwards when they hugged her midsection, thanking her for telling them about rabbits.

"It's calming to be with these kids, don't you think? Besides, I don't have anyone waiting for me at home."

The way she said that tugged something in Ichigo, and he cleared his throat when he hesitated to ask her to come over to their house to have dinner. His nephew beat him to it.

"Mama said you can come, sensei! Have dinner with us!"

Nami had already asked Ichigo to carry her on his shoulders when Orihime turned a puzzled look towards Ichigo. He nodded, telling her it was okay.

"Yuzu wanted to see you... I mean, she's pregnant again and she just wants you to celebrate with us... If that's okay with you, that is."

Orihime looked down to see Ryouma Kurosaki smiling up at her, and she just didn't have the heart to decline.

"Okay then. I'll be there."

Ryouma hugged her again before he rushed to hold onto Ichigo's outstretched hand. Ichigo motioned towards his car, parked nearby under a tree.

"I'll pick you up at seven."

Orihime blushed again, and shook her head. "Ah, it's okay, I can walk there!"

Ichigo frowned. "If you say so... See you later, Orihime."

"Okay, bye!" She waved as he drove away, and she stood there, smiling at nothing in particular.

"Oh my god! Orihime-chan!"

Said name blinked as she turned around to watch as Nanako eagerly took off her gloves and grabbed her left hand. The simple diamond ring on her wedding finger glinted in the sunlight.

"Is that him? The one who gave you this?"

Orihime blushed when she understood what the old woman said. "N-No, he's Ichigo Kurosaki. He's still single..."

Nanako let go of her hand and sounded very disappointed when she spoke up.

"Really? But you two looked so good together! And he even tied that straw hat for you!"

Orihime forced a smile as she caressed the diamond ring on her finger. "He's a friend... a good friend... that's all."

Nanako frowned, and then she scratched her chin as she thought of something.

"Hey, come to think of it, I never got to see your husband, you know. And suddenly those kindergarten teachers gossiped about you being divorced..."

Orihime swallowed, and she quickly turned around to avoid looking at Nanako. "Th-They were right... I'm divorced already."

"Really? But you're still wearing that... ring..."

Something tugged Nanako's heart as she saw Orihime shrugging, as if it was nothing. Poor woman, and that doctor was so nice to her too.

"I thought that you two looked really good together, you know. It's such a shame, to have someone as kind as that to be just a friend to you. After all, you're beautiful. People would've thought that you could get anything with that kind of beauty."

Orihime nodded, and took off the straw hat. A wry smile curved her lips as she thought of what Nanako said.

She could get anything with her beauty?

Of course, she knew better than to admit that.

If only they knew what happened on her last summer at Karakura High.

If only they knew.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I'm just gonna leave this as it is. If one of you can guess who her ex is, I might do a super long chapter for the next update. Oh, and I forgot to mention it before but most of the chapters in this story will have flashbacks to make you guys understand this story better. And please ignore what happened after the full-bring arc. Till then, adios!


	3. Ch2: White

**A Liar's Paradox**

**A/N: aw, geez. How has it been? I've missed too much Bleach and now I'm flabbergasted. Old man Yama killed? Ichigo's mom's a Quincy? Augh.**

**Chapter 2: White.**

It wasn't even spring, but there were Sakura petals everywhere where the wedding reception was held. Of course, being the only sister of Byakuya Kuchiki had its perks. Ichigo was surprised though, that the seemingly stoic Captain agreed to call forth his beloved Sakura petals just for this one occasion. The sight of the groom , now crowned Renji Kuchiki instead of the former Abarai, standing happily next to his newly-wedded wife in his formal wedding kimono made his heart sink a little bit more than it had already been. As if the twisting ache in his chest wasn't enough, the moment the bride saw him, she smiled at him with the same smile that caught his heart all those years ago. The only difference was that, he hadn't noticed he liked that smile back then. Even now, when he saw Rukia in the white kimono, her eyes sparkling with happiness, made him wonder why on earth his heart felt so much pain when he thought she looked so beautiful in that kimono.

He should have known that she was out of his reach long before he realized his own feelings. She was from another world, and he was from another different world.

Forcing the corners of his mouth upwards into a smile, he came up to the couple. His steps were heavy, he noted. He could get hurt even more than he was already, like rubbing salt into a freshly cut wound, he noted to himself. But what the hell, he thought. He was way beyond hurt, a small fake greeting wouldn't hurt so much, now would it?

Yep, he thought.

He was about to confidently walk up to the newly-weds, pat Renji hard on his back and congratulate the red-head as earnestly as he could, but then he felt a tugging on his sleeve. He turned around, brown eyes gazing down upon grey eyes that looked as sad as his.

He cursed his self. He made Orihime worry again.

Gently, he lifted his hand and covered hers that tugged onto his sleeve. He tried to reassure her with that fake smile of his. The one he perfected since the death of Masaki.

"Relax, I'm okay. I'm just gonna congratulate them, Orihime."

Her small hand felt warm under his calloused hand, and Orihime wondered if he really was okay. She knew that coming to the wedding was a big mistake, it had been wrong since the beginning. Part of her wanted to really let Ichigo realize that Rukia was not for a human like him, because they were different. She wanted Ichigo to realize that no matter how much he loved Rukia, the black-haired shinigami already had her heart set on someone else. But seeing the hurt in Ichigo's eyes made her hate herself, made her blame herself for her selfishness.

"I'm sorry, Kurosaki-kun."

"For what? Hey, seriously, I'm okay. You can stop worrying too much Orihime."

In the distance, they could hear Rukia's laughter, and then they heard Renji calling out to Ichigo. The orange-head held up a hand, and turned back towards Orihime.

"Thanks, for worrying about me. I'm going now."

Orihime nodded, and let go of his sleeve. He flashed her another smile, one that didn't stretch up enough, and walked towards Renji to give him a pat on the back. She dragged her eyes towards Rukia, who noticed her and motioned for the healer to join them.

"Ichigo, I'm borrowing Orihime for a while okay. I wanna show her around this place."

She saw the young Shinigami nod, and was immediately led away by Rukia towards a garden somewhere away from the crowd.

"Kuchi-... I mean, Rukia-san? Where are you taking me to?"

The shinigami turned around and smiled at the healer. "Our garden. Do you remember that time when you came here to aid Captain Kurotsuchi on his research?"

Orihime tilted her head sideways, trying to remember that time when she was brought to Soul Society to lend her hairpins to Captain Kurotsuchi for research. She had also been asked to stay there so that the eccentric scientist could monitor her. If it wasn't for the fact that Rukia had offered her to stay at the Kuchiki quarters, Orihime wasn't so sure she would have agreed at that time. A few days after she tagged along after Rukia for the Vice-Captain's usual rounds around Squad Thirteen's Barracks, the older woman conjured up an idea to build their own private garden in a secluded area somewhere in the grounds of the Kuchiki household. She smiled at the memory.

"Is it still there? It _has _been a few years right?"

She could see Rukia nod to her question, just before they stopped somewhere behind Rukia's room before she got married.

"Here we are. What do you think?"

Orihime laughed as she saw the state of their private garden. It was a mess, there were weeds everywhere. The rose bush they worked so hard on was there, and there were only three rosebuds on it.

Rukia scratched her chin. "Yeah, I know. Horrid isn't it? I haven't watched over this garden ever since you went back to your world. It was boring to look after it myself."

The healer smiled at the memories of them going all the way to Captain Ukitake for advice on gardening and Vice-Captain Ise for further knowledge. She remembered that time when they received a wheelbarrow full of seedlings of different types of flowers, courtesy of Captain Ukitake. Orihime had been embarrassed to receive them at first, but then the white-haired captain had already started kneeling in the soil, his sleeves rolled up and all, showing an attentive Rukia how to properly sow seeds.

"Thank you, Orihime."

Said name turned towards the voice, confusion clearly painting her face at the sudden gratitude.

"Hm? For what, Rukia-san?"

The warm smile the older woman wore seconds ago immediately faltered and was replaced with a scowl "It's Rukia, Orihime. Rukia."

Orihime scratched the back of her head, smiling embarrassedly for her blunder yet again. The warm smile that Rukia dropped a few seconds ago immediately came back. She brought up a hand and gave the healer's a gentle squeeze.

"Thank you, for coming here. You and Ichigo coming here today, means so much to me."

For the second time that day, Orihime noticed the intricately-designed wedding kimono and how nicely it fit onto Rukia, how her violet eyes shone brightly, the radiant smile that had been on her lips which was unseen to everyone, but clearly seen by her and a handful of comrades who knew the wielder of Sode no Shiraiyuki. Rukia Kuchiki was beautiful, and the fact that Orihime had seen the younger Kuchiki use her beautiful sword during practice with her brother that one day made her understand why Ichigo loved her.

And that understanding hurt her more than anything. Because sometimes, even understanding does not make accepting easier. Because she knew Ichigo loved Rukia as she is, as the brave and strong woman who had helped him realize his reason for fighting, who encouraged him and pulled him out of his insecurities during that time when he doubted himself.

And she hated herself for being jealous, because Rukia was her idol, she looked up to the black-haired shinigami. So why was Rukia thanking her?

"I don't think I deserve your gratitude, Rukia-san."

The grasp of Rukia's small but strong hand that was on hers tightened, and her smile faltered. Her violet eyes softened.

"Hey now, Orihime..."

Said name chuckled, hollow and humourless, so uncharacteristic of her. Then the lifts on the corners of her mouth faltered as she tried to hold back her tears.

"I really wanted to come here just to see you, at least, I tried telling myself that... but actually I... The truth is that I wanted him to just see for himself how happy you are with Renji and that he... That he can never have you because... because he's different from you... that he can never be with you... Oh god, I'm horrible."

Despite being shorter than Orihime, Rukia stepped closer towards the troubled woman and cupped her face with her hands. Slowly and gently, she lifted Orihime's face so that she could look into the pair of stormy grey eyes.

"Maybe that's the right thing to do after all, Orihime. I love both you and Ichigo, and I hate it when you blame yourself. You have to sometimes let yourself feel something other than guilt. Because you don't deserve to feel guilty, you have nothing to feel guilty for."

The warmth of Rukia's hands was too much for her and she choked before she fell into a bout of tears. As if she was a child again, her legs gave up and she bawled as Rukia cradled her head.

"I'm sorry, Rukia-san! I'm sorry!"

Stroking the mass of golden hair belonging to one Orihime Inoue, Rukia shushed the apologies spilling out of the human's mouth.

"You really love him, Orihime."

Rukia had fought countless enemies, she was fearless, and powerful. Though she kept her formalities and manners as a woman bearing a noble name, she was nothing like the prim and proper nobly-born ladies she had acquainted herself with. She liked to believe she was strong and that nothing will stop her and make her cry.

But sometimes, when she sees the wonderful, kind and gentle Orihime... Her Orihime who had willingly followed Ichigo to Soul Society six years ago to save her though she knew for herself that she wasn't experienced in real-life combats but came anyway to provide aid whenever one needed her... her Orihime who loved others more than she loved herself, who tries to heal everyone when she herself needs to rest... her Orihime who was now crying for an unrequited love that she herself was the reason for it...

Rukia just couldn't bear it.

A single tear leaked from underneath her closed eyelid, then another joined the first tear, until she ended up silently crying for her Orihime.

_I'm so sorry, Orihime._

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"Cheers, buddy."

Ichigo nodded and replied to Renji. "Cheers man."

Renji watched as the orange-head downed yet another bottle of sake that had been passed around by the maids of the house.

"Good sake, huh."

Ichigo gave Renji a lopside grin, and the new groom knew that his friend had drunk himself silly when he noticed the absence of the scowl and the frown between his orange brows which he used to think that they were permanent. He chuckled as Ichigo chuckled and managed to answer Renji with a "yeah, good sake" while trying to read the calligraphy painted onto the bottle he was holding.

"Hey, Renji."

The red head was searching for Rukia when Ichigo called out to him, and he abandoned the search as he turned towards Ichigo. "Yeah?"

"Congratulations, man. I mean it."

Renji threw his head back as he laughed. "Seriously, Ichigo? Why are you suddenly all touchy-feely huh?"

The younger Shinigami shrugged and let out a chuckle. "Well, I don't know. Just felt like it."

Renji was silent for a second, before he gave a friendly punch onto Ichigo's shoulder.

"Well, thanks. Thank you, Ichigo."

He silently sighed as he felt himself relax a little bit. They were right, the ones who deducted that alcohol was one way to loosen up, whoever they were. Ichigo rubbed the back of his neck to ease the tension he had been feeling ever since the beginning of the wedding ceremony.

Rukia was married. The one he truly ever first loved, was officially taken.

By Renji. His friend. His great buddy, his comrade.

The whole thing was still surreal to him the first time he heard the news not from Rukia herself, but from the ever-so-loose-lipped Rangiku. He had refused to go the first time Orihime asked him, because he didn't want to believe that Rukia was taken. He had been angry. At Renji, because he knew Renji was aware that he harboured feelings towards the female Kuchiki. He was mad at Orihime because he knew she asked him to come with her so that he'll realize what he understood a long time ago but refused to acknowledge, and move on to a new life. A life where he would fall in love with a human, a human from their side of the world.

Well, at least he tried to hate them.

Because he knew that Renji was just as much in a dilemma as he was. The red head knew that being with Rukia would upset Ichigo, but he was in danger of losing Rukia to another suitor from a well-known family and that Rukia would eventually decide to get married if Renji wouldn't stomp on his own ego and admit that yes, he loved her very much.

Ichigo knew that he was also at fault, because he had lied through his teeth that one day by telling Renji that 'I don't love her anymore, it's okay man. Marry her.'

Later that night, for the first time, he drank himself silly at Mizuiro's bar. All the time he had been cursing Renji and Rukia. When Orihime had helped him into his own apartment, he waited until she left before he threw a chair in frustration and cursed himself for being angry at both Rukia and Renji.

The third time Orihime invited him to the wedding, he agreed because he wanted to believe that he would support them.

When Renji had asked for him for a drink, he wanted so much to mean what he said when he congratulated the groom.

"Never thought that I would settle down, huh?"

Ichigo gave a short laugh. "Geez, you're talking as if we won't be hanging out together again."

Renji shrugged. "Well, it might be possible, you know. I mean, unless we have a war, when else would I have to come to meet up with you? Right now everything's in order, and I might even be even busier than ever that I'd probably shit all over my pants."

"Well... yeah. You're right."

It was quiet for a few seconds when Renji spoke up again. "I kinda miss fighting hollows with you."

"Me too, Renji." Their heads turned to each other, and when Renji grinned at him, Ichigo grinned back.

"Me too... Renji."

He prayed that he was being honest.

They stayed silent for a while, just watching the Sakura petals floating about in the small streams around the compound. They saw Ikkaku coming over, and the bald guy gave a pat on the groom's shoulder, said his congratulations before he excused himself to do his rounds at the second division. Before he left them though, he turned around and called to Ichigo.

"Yo, where's Orihime-chan? I haven't thanked her for healing my men last month yet! They've been bitching all day I can't stand it anymore!"

Ichigo scratched his head, and trying not to sound so drunk, he pointed to a spot near the main house of the manor.

"Dunno. Rukia kidnapped her."

Ikkaku laughed, and immediately waved at two figures emerging from the crowds.

"Oh, there they are. Yo! Orihime-chan!"

She blinked when she heard her name being called, and a big smile decorated her face as she waved back at Ikkaku. Ichigo watched from afar as the bald brute greeted his friend in such a friendly manner. Ikkaku was happy to see Orihime, that he could tell, but why, was the question. He could never understand how they became friends, close enough to call each other by names. Even Shinji adored Orihime.

Renji lifted up a hand to squeeze his companion's shoulder.

"Hey, how's she doing? With the divorce and all?"

The young shinigami took a sip of his sake. Looking at anything but Orihime with the bald captain.

"She says she's okay. I mean, she looks happier now. At least that's what I see, I can't say if she's faking it or not."

"She's not."

Ichigo turned to the red head, an eyebrow raised. "Huh?"

Renji shrugged. "I don't know, she just doesn't seem to fake it. You see, when she came here last month to visit Ikkaku-san's squad, she even said that Arisugawa was having a baby with that big smile of hers. She was happy, I could see it."

Ichigo looked at the ground. Tatsuki was five months pregnant, who would've thought?

Sensing Ichigo's slumping shoulders, Renji lightly punched his arm.

"Oy, she's okay, healthy and happy. You don't have to blame yourself anymore. At least she doesn't."

"Well yeah, but…. She might be strong, but you'll never know, right? Maybe she's dying inside or something. I'll never really know unless she smiles, and she does smile a lot, but just… I don't know. I just feel like I should've protected her that day, you know."

Renji blew away a petal that landed on his shoulder and took another sip from his sake.

"Then why aren't you together then?"

"Huh?"

Renji shrugged as Ichigo looked at him confusedly. "You know, you guys might as well hook up or something."

The orange head shook his head, and chuckled. "No no no. That won't do man. We can't. It'll never work."

"But she loves you."

Ichigo looked over at where Orihime was, she was chatting with Hanatarou. The medic shinigami said something with an exasperated look on his face and Orihime laughed, her smile catching the eyes of a few lower-ranked officials nearby.

"Don't say that. I can't promise her anything, I can't love her."

Renji shrugged. "Geez, whatever man. Ah, they're coming over."

The red head waved at Orihime and his bride, his big goofy smile making Orihime laugh a little. Ichigo watched as Orihime chatted with Renji, telling him about a secret garden she and Rukia built. He turned to Rukia, who was blushing slightly when Renji came up beside her to put an arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer. He said something about helping Rukia to recover the overgrown garden so he could spend his alone time with his wife. The shortest of them all pinched her groom on his side, and he replied with a childish grin. They looked very much in love, very happy. They looked good together.

Ah, there it was again. That familiar pang in his chest.

He was gonna stop by Mizuiro's bar that night, and have a drink or two.

They were right, the ones who deducted that alcohol was one way to loosen up.

Whoever they were.

**(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)**

"You sure you want more, Ichigo?"

Said name nodded, and loosened the bow tie he had been wearing to the wedding. The sleeves of his dress shirt were rolled rather carelessly to reveal his forearms.

It hadn't been an hour when they had just returned to the Living World when Ichigo said he wanted to be alone. Orihime had smiled at him sadly, and went back to her place after thanking him for his company to the wedding. He had watched her back disappear from his sight before he hailed a cab and went to Mizuiro's bar.

Since then, he has been drowning in misery for nearly two hours. He just sat there, at the far end of the bar counter, ordered 'something strong that will wash his pain away'. When whiskey hadn't been strong enough to dull the ache he felt in his chest whenever he thought of how beautiful Rukia had been at her wedding, he asked for his favourite vodka. He took out a few notes, but Mizuiro gently refused. Ichigo seldom came over to get drunk, and being the best friend that he was, he thought that the young doctor deserved to let his pain be ebbed away by alcohol. Just once in a while.

He never knew he could feel so hurt by watching Rukia get married. He never knew someone could look very beautiful yet make him feel as if he was stabbed by needles just at the sight of her.

"Renji you lucky son of a bitch." He chuckled at his own comment, and took another sip of the vodka.

"_But she loves you."_

Those words also bugged him, ever since they left the Kuchiki Manor.

He knew that, but he didn't love her.

Him and Orihime, they were an odd pair.

"_I'm getting married, Kurosaki-kun."_

Ah, suddenly he remembered that day. That day when they were all twenty five years old, and Ichigo and Uryuu both passed the National Medical License examination. They were on their way home from Keigo's birthday party at that time, and they were walking together because they lived at the same apartment complex, a few doors away.

"_Um… Kurosaki-kun?"_

She had stopped suddenly, and he stopped as well, not wanting to leave her behind. _"What is it?"_

Orihime had been hesitating for a while, before she looked up at him.

"_I'm getting married."_

He had stood in his spot, frozen. After a few seconds of silence, he finally spoke up.

"_Wow, who is it? Someone I know?"_

"_Uryuu-kun. I'm getting married to Uryuu-kun."_

He had been speechless, and he never knew why he had been so surprised. He should have known at that time when he had heard rumors about the older Ishida-sensei being fond of an auburn-haired high-school teacher who came to the hospital regularly, bringing along some beaten up yankee kids from her school. People were talking about how Uryuu would eventually be married to the woman of his father's choice, and he had been nonchalant about it all those times because they were rumors. And Ichigo does not listen to rumors.

So when the rumor had actually been true, he remembered responding in such a way that made him hate himself had he known what would have happened in the future.

"_Isn't that great? He's a good guy."_

She had blinked at him, and looked into his eyes. He remembered seeing something flicker in her grey eyes, but then she gave a smile that wasn't quite.

"_Yeah, he is."_

**(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)**

**Flashback**

"Can I see Orihime?"

Ryo looked up from her nails to the tall orange head, who was clad in a white blazer and a bow tie of the same colour. She scrutinized him for a few seconds but then relented and stepped aside for him to get through. Michiru emerged from the door, make-up bag in one hand and a smile on her face.

"She's pretty."

Ryo nodded and that was when Michiru sensed Ichigo's presence. She blinked at the young doctor and stepped aside for him. He was turning the door knob when Ryo spoke up from behind him.

"Don't make her cry. You've done enough of that these past few years."

Ichigo heard Michiru gasp, and without turning around to face Ryo, he answered with a silent, "Yeah, okay."

He stepped into the room, and saw her sitting silently in front of the vanity table.

She was beautiful.

Not that he hadn't noticed her beauty before, he was aware of it since god knows when. But at that time she looked very beautiful. The white dress she wore fit her nicely, her long hair was put up into a chignon and a small tiara sat atop her head. The engagement ring which had never fit her finger was made into a pendant for the simple necklace she wore around her neck. She blinked as she noticed him come in, and turning around, she smiled at him.

At that time, something tugged at his gut. She was too beautiful that it hurt him. And he didn't know why.

"Hello, Kurosaki-kun."

Ah, she was still calling him Kurosaki. She hasn't called him Ichigo for a long time. He nodded back.

"Hey there. You look… beautiful."

There was a faint blush on her cheeks as she looked away for a second, before she smiled up at him.

"Thank you."

She stood up and walked towards him, ever mindful not to step on her dress.

"Are you alone? Where's Karin-chan and Yuzu-chan? The twins?"

Ichigo put his hands in his pockets, not wanting her to see him fisting them. "They're waiting in the hall. They said hi."

Orihime smiled again. At that time, suddenly Ichigo felt jealous of Uryuu. He was lucky, to have had the courage to ask Orihime's hand for marriage.

He cleared his throat, and looked at her squarely in the eyes.

"Are you really sure about this marriage?"

She blinked up at him, and suddenly she stepped back a few. The smile that she gave was forced, he knew that.

"Of course I am. I-"

"Why? He's doing this because of his dad, you know that."

Her smile fell, and she turned around, her back facing him.

"Because I want to move on. I... I can't keep loving you anymore. Uryuu-kun said he'll take care of me, he promised me."

Outside the waiting room, Ryo called out to her to get ready. Orihime turned to the closed door, then to him.

"I'll be okay, Kurosaki-kun."

She turned around again to walk towards the door, when his hand grabbed her elbow, stopping her. From behind her, he spoke up.

"But you don't love him."

It was silent for a few seconds, and she finally turned around to face him. She looked up at him, her gaze unwavering as she spoke up.

"Then I'll learn to love him. Like how I learned to love you."

Ichigo was about to speak up when she continued.

"Why are you against this? Kurosaki-kun?"

He swallowed and looked away. He didn't know why. He just felt this aching pain in his chest when he realized that Orihime would be someone else's. That she would look at someone else and she would be protected by someone else, but not him. She wouldn't be there for him anymore.

He felt lonely.

But he couldn't say anything. He stood there, looking anywhere but her. "I don't…know."

She smiled, and spoke up.

"Kurosaki-kun, look at me."

He did as she said, and saw her smile at him. something about that smile seemed serene, and looked as if she's resigned to her fate. Her fate of not being able to be his.

"I love you, Ichigo-kun."

He didn't reply, he couldn't. He stood there, at a loss for words. She waited, for something. Maybe a nod, just something.

When he didn't say anything, she neared him. Gently, she placed her hands against his chest.

Then she kissed him. Ever-so-gently. She pressed her lips onto his, holding back her tears and everything.

She was good at that.

The kiss was brief, and she stepped back to look up at him.

He felt numb. Numb as hell.

When he couldn't answer, Orihime finally spoke up, a smile so serene adorned her face. And he'd be damned if he didn't admit that the smile made him feel weak at the knees.

"I love you."

He swallowed, and his throat felt dry.

Ryo knocked on the door, and called out to her.

"Orihime! Come on!"

"Okay, I'm coming!"

She turned around and walked out of the room, never once turning back to look at him.

**End flashback:**

**(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)**

"I was such an asshole."

Mizuiro heard him mumble, and shrugged. "Well, you must have been one, to end up this miserable."

Ichigo glared at the bar tender. Mizuiro didn't even bat an eyelid. "Fine, I'm miserable as hell."

He buried his face in his hands, and tried to forget everything.

He couldn't.

Recalling the day when Orihime got married was not his favorite memory.

Because that first and last kiss she gave him, left his lips burning whenever he thought of her.

"God, Mizuiro. I'm totally fucked up."

"Yes, you are. But hey, at least you have a stable job and a nice family."

"Damn it, I know. But I just…"

He realized then why he was against Orihime's marriage.

It was because he was lonely.

Now that Rukia was married…

He needed her, more so than ever.

Ichigo Kurosaki, aged 28 years old, single and apparently, royally screwed up.


End file.
